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ME whats going on with me.!

So as you have all read my love life has been a mess recently. Bear and I broke up then I I was dating Cody, well Cody and I ended up not working out our differences were getting in the way and my heart. Even though bear and I had our falling outs and faults I missed him I loved him I wanted him deep down. I gave Cody a chance hoping I would get over bear well I was wrong very wrong it made me crave him want him more.I know from previous posts your thinking how stupid of me but this is my life and who I love. Cody and I called it quits around Halloween then once after Thanks giving then worked on it up until the begining of December. Bear contacted me while he was on leave in IN and said he missed me hes sorry he needs me he loves me. I couldnt help but feel overwhelmed that maybe my bear was coming back to me?! Excited we text and talked. We got together and went out we had an amazing time from the first second i saw him and we hugged all these emotions and feelings came rushing back. but I still have the thought of our past in my head. We talked and we think getting him checked out is best. Bipolar is a canidate along with PTSD I am thinking. Bipolar disorders run in his family. Now Im not getting to personal with this as he asked me not to. We are working things out and they are going so good Im smiling Im feeling goos were laughing and appreciating eachother finally the way it should of been from when he got back from deployment! Im going to share photos of bear and I from our engagment shoot we did! I will also share more pictures from the 2 photo shoots I had. There are so many photos I will do this in several posts! And coming soon I have a giveaway coming up so keep your eyes wide and ears open my loves!

21 years ago you were taken from us.

21 years ago you were taken from us. If you remember in previous post about my moms husband was k.I.A. in 91' during combat operations in Desert Storm.I should of posted this yesterday because yesterday was the date he was killed. Art was his name a loving man and a love for the Corps as my mother tells me she also said he was a "real gung ho Marine!" For 20 years my mom hadn't gotten answers from how he was killed or I should say the correct answers. There were a few stories told of how he was killed and they were all different, makes you wonder huh? Someone had found my sister and my mom on Facebook! Loan be hold it was the unit Art was tranfered to when he was deployed. In a matter of a short time my mother felt welcomed, loved and she got answers she needed she was being supported by people who knew what she went through as to widows and all of Art's Marine brother's who are suffering for horrible PTSD. July 2011 they planned a reunion for everyone to meet in Vegas. This I did not attend, my older sister traveled with her. I asked when she got back how it all went she was emotional crying and it brought back memories but it was the beging of the healing proccess. She became friends with another widow who I now consider an aunt of mine. My mom told me a story that there was one Marine who was deployed with Art is suffering severely from PTSD to the point he still wears his vest with all his flaks in. This man was walking by my mom my sister and the rest of the them and when he found out who my mom and my sister were he sobbed utterly uncontrollobly the saddest thing they have seen in awhile heart wrenching to see such hurt in his eyes. All in all though she said the reunion was great. We are all very active with them these days. As of this weekend we are having about 5 to 6 guests from Wolfpack stay over. BBQs jelloshots visitng Camp Pendleton and sharing memories is what will consume our weekend! I will take lots of pictures I got with my new camera! I have lots more to say so stay tuned for more posts coming your way!