Daddy Art my mother thinks of you often....

I know I know its my 2nd post of the day but Im having a craving for writing! As you know my mother is a widow. Art was K.I.A. in 91' during combative operations in Desert Storm. My mother was only 20 years young when he was killed. As I was on FB today I came across a post she wrote about him...

(here it is)

I have died everyday waiting for you Darlin' I have loved you for a Thousand years and I'll love you for a Thousand more. Time stands still, beauty in all she is I will be brave Every breath, Every hour has come to this One step closer..........

(and had this picture of him)

With all these posts going around about the "CBS EMAILS TO WIDOWS" it just made me think about these women and their lost loved ones. They never got to or will be able to give them a last hug a last kiss a last smile or a simple last "I love you baby." I have seen my mother for years and years struggle with the loss I have seen her every year on the anniversary of his death crawl in bed and just wanting to be alone. My mother is one of the strongest people I know. She holds everything all together and how she does it is mind blowing. I praise her for it I praise the widows for doing so. I know you hurt and I will hurt with you. It is okay to grieve and be sad its okay to let go and smile and love again. But do so as you please and when your ready, everyone is different. As I watch my mother in the kitchen cooking herself dinner I can't help but wonder sometimes and Im sure she does too, what would it be like if her were here? Would he of been a career Marine, would and her have 6 kids maybe 7, would they have gone back to Texas where his family is? All these questions i wonder but they will never be answered. When bear left for deployment my mother was hurting and stressed even more than me, but I remeber the day he came home the relief on her face the weight lifted off her shoulders and the tears just came pouring down. She clung on to him crying saying "Im glad you home, welcome home, your home." It was a bunch of mixed emotions for her it was her very first homecoming expierence, she never got one, everytime bear leaves she holds her breath for him. She told me previously this week that when he comes she wants to make signs and do a big dinner (bear will be home very soon) Im guessing this maybe a way for her to cope? With that being said I hope everyone has a wonderful blessed night as for me Im hittin the sheets early! Goodnight all....

p.s.

Ill leave you with some pictures of art and my mother...

Always, me

Diet Monday, will it last?

Today is Monday icky Monday, i start my diet or should I say my new "lifestyle." Now Im going to post my weight which is hard for me to do but, i think if I see it posted and know I have my readers behind me i know I can do this. My weight is ready.... Drum roll please.... 166.5!!!! My goodness where did my body go where are my collar boned where are my ribs??? I am very motivated to get in shape and healthy not only for myself but for my hubby and my life. Like I said I have a mass on my liver and cyts on my ovaries. With these health issues I have already its very important to not add anymore to my list! I want to be able to live a long life, I want to be able to run miles with bear, i want to at one point in my life (when I do have kids) be able to chase after my kids and sit on the floor and play with them! Today in society obesity rules the lives of alot of Americans and sad to say kids as well. We need to make a change to get everyone in a more healthy lifestyle, so they won't have heart problems, diabetes, heart attacks, strokes, breathing problems and more. along with being on the heavier side people get judged! And its not fair, but I do understand there are people who have weight issues or are sick and czat drop the weight, nothing wrong with that. We just need to be a support group for eachother and cheering em' on! With that being said, daily work outs and new eating habbits will take place as they already have today! Who else is in this with me? If so comment, and every Monday Ill write a post about what has taken place during my week, and how much weight ive lost. my ultimate goal is to be at 125, you think I can do it?!!!!

 Always, ME!