Oh so sorry my friends!

Well I am sorry I haven't been keeping up with my blog lately so much has been going on. First mom had surgery ughhh my gosh we get up at 7 am to go to the hospital to be there by 9 am. We get there and she signs in. Well 9 am came around the time they said she will be taken in for surgery (she was getting a tumor and a syst removed and getting her tubes tied) well they lied pushed her back till 12.... So we waited then finally 12'0 clock rolled around but nope they came to us and said "Mrs. Garza ummm I am sorry but were are pushing you back to 6 now we are so sorry!" By this time I was beyond irritated tired and I just wanted to go home and check my email to see if my hero wrote me. Well 6 pm came and guess what was said " excuse me Ma'am we are pushing you back again we are so so sorry for the inconvenience..." My mom turned to me and said "if hes not here by 8 I am leaving." I said " Mom we should have left hours ago its there mistake they over booked and made us waste a day..." she said nothing more. Anyways 8 pm finally came but still no doctor, as we got up to leave the hospital the nurse cam over and said the doctor will be here any minute well 9 came around and the jack ass was finally here and the surgery room was cleared. So they took her in and about an hour and a half later they came out and told me she did really great that they took her syst and tumor out. Nothing looked cancerous and he also mentioned when she has her next surgery some time here in the next week or so ( there taking her gaul bladder out) they will be taking another syst out that's on her ovary, but he still sent the other syst and tumor in to the lab to make sure! I was relieved but still had this heavy weight on my shoulder. Shes still some what sore but doing good! We move her in the next 20 days I can't wait ughh I am so excited woho new start and a good change! Speaking of change we are 2 months and some days down! We have a little less than 5 months to go till hero is home! Hes doing really good he so far has been to Guam Timon Leste in south east Korea and he has been to Darwin Australia he should end up in Afghan I think pretty soon he hasn't said much... Hes ready to come he said he talk s about homecoming all the time it gets us both excited and make our nerves and the anticipation even crazier! God the things that man does to me even though hes not here he still makes me weak in the knees and makes my heart beat out of control and makes me smile from ear to ear. Our wedding is coming along slowly but surely! Although he dropped a big bomb on me after he left asking "umm mama" my reply " yes honey" Him "can we have the wedding back where I am from?" me "(silence mouth drops) IN INDIANA?" him "yes" Me " but fine yes we can have it in Indiana!" So everything did a whole 180 and instead of a San Diego beach themed wedding were having a Indiana country rustic old military themed wedding! 15,October 2011! Man am I excited and a big plus his aunt has been the biggest help to me being she lives in IN and just knows what I want and like! So moving on I am going to be an auntie! My best friend just got an honorable discharge from the army because her husband and her made a baby! BUT her husband just deployed to Iraq about 2 weeks ago he will be there till next July so please prayers for all of our men and women and my mommy... Shes having a girl naming her Abigail! Shes due 13, December 2010. So her husband already put rand r leave for two weeks after the baby is born! Everything is going good as of now. Now for me insomnia sucks ughh I don't go to sleep till around 4 30 am and I get up around 7 or 8 am I don't sleep I swear I feel like a zombie sometimes I need sleep so I don't look like hell when Gary gets home! I am doing my best at everything I can I try my hardest and I fight with pride. I will always be forever faithful forever proud to my soon to be husband I love you my man almost almost just keep wishing and praying and it will be here in no time! I love you bear misses you xoxox...

Flip flop and combat boots!

Help me win tell her I sent you there thank you friends! Up date and mom and the bear will be coming soon!

so not so good

Driving my mommy to the hospital tomorrow. The doc. found two stones on her Gaul bladder and a sist on her ovary and she has a big lump in he throat. My mom has been through hell Ill tell ya. It all started back in 91' when her Marine husband was kia in Kuwait,she was diagnosed with survivors guilt and ptsd. I remember when I was little I would hear her cry and throw up and I never understood why until I got older. I know shes in pain I know she is but its amazing how a women with such assurance and just love like no other learned how to deal with all the obstacles in life. But it got worse around 07' she learned she was diagnosed with RA (rheumatoid arthritis)she would lay in bed and just be restlessly in pain she couldn't move couldn't get up to do anything. She was helpless of her self. My grandmother came over one day and told her she needed to go to another doc. for some new opinions and maybe new answers! She then learned again from this new doc. that the other doc. she was seeing over medicated her for 3 years. We are now in 10' and she has no thyroid left. My poor mommy is all I can think I cry and wonder what I can do but I can do do nothing but pray. She has been through hell and back she has gone through wits ends for everyone and now its time for everyone to go through wits ends for her. So now back to what I said in the beginning we now have to drive to the hos. in the morning to get results... I am very nervous and scared for her I just lover her and want her better I just want to hold her and tell her it will be okay I just love my mom so much. This makes me wish I had my bear here so he could help me with strength and her for support. Speaking of my hero we are almost to month two! 5 months to go soon! So excited can't wait for him to be home I love you baby! Now one more thing please go to flip fops and combat boots and tell her I sent you my name is usmc bride to be! Please help I want this giveaway so bad so I can do something for my mommy! Love you friends OORAH!

flip flops and combat boots give away! HELP PLEASE!!

Damn I want this give away so bad! I think it would be so cool to win I never win anything lol I know I am lame but if you help a sista out and tell her I sent you there (tell her usmc bride to be sent you) I could possibly hopefully win! I would love to win the gift card so I can go out and but what I want instead of spending conscious money... I would love to go and bye what ever I want for a change instead of what every one wants and for my hubby to be I want his butt to touch a brand new duvet cover instead of the one we have now I want him to come home and just snuggle himself in those wit clean slate sheets and duvet! Ahhw I am so excited please help me thanks every one!

Hello new things!

Well haven't I just picked up a few new habits thanks to his deployment! First off hello insomnia ugh I hate you I find my self not sleeping at all, but the chance I do get get to sleep I wake up with bad dreams. 2nd man oh man I am just a nervous wreck and just floured at how stupid some wives of the meu (what bear is on deployment ship USS Peliliu)can be! My poor Marine and his fellow Marines along with the Sailors are stressed out enough! Well some wives decided to post the date times ports and route our men were taking all over face book!! Hello can you honestly be that effin stupid? OPSEC is there for a reason you idiots! Thanks to you everything is changed new route new everything and surely thanks to you all again I have not herd his voice in about a month and barley any info! It amazes me how few can ruin it for hundreds! Now I feel sick all the time but I am surviving my first deployment! I love saying that! December come fast please I will love you forever if you do! I can't wait for your homecoming some gals and I already have plans at meeting at one of our houses and count down the hours make good food posters movie night wohooo I so can't wait! That would be the best present I have ever got! I got my first letter damn when I saw that I almost crapped myself the letter was amazing just sweet bliss I can't wait for my next one. I started my diet another new thing dieting and working out yes, I decided to get my lazy butt up and become the hot mama I want to be. Well this is it for now Ill write again soon! Forever proud forever faithful I love you Gary Ray miss you!

almost one month down already!

Wow almost one month down already!Damn did that go by fast! I miss my hunny so much I miss his kisses I miss his hugs I miss his voice I miss I just miss him. Its been up and down I ve been trying to keep my self busy which has been working BUT my hero keeps slippin in my busy mind... I swear I can not go without thinking of him not even 5 minutes. I want to write a little something to Gary Ray or aka bear... Hey baby how are you? I've been being your strong girl!I miss you I haven't heard from you in almost a month. I dream of your home coming every night and when I do I get wild fireflies (as he calls them instead of butterflies) in my tummy. I wonder how many times the color of your eyes have changed. I know blue is when your happy green is when your stressed and yellow oh boy watch out! I love when your eyes change colors why you ask because I know when there is something wrong and you can't tell me no there's not! I have 3 regular t shirts and a cammi jacket of yours on my bed and the best part they still smell like you! Looking back at some of the pictures of deployment day are kinda blahh... Especially the one of us both crying(its posted in the pics hat go along with this. Already almost 6 months left woot woot! Are you sleeping okay does your tummy get enough to eat do you have mudd butt yet? (meaning he has the runs!)Its 11:00 pm here 8:00 pm where you are but your in the future a day ahead of me! I love you baby I misses you. I hate to say this but I've been having the worst dream over and over... As I am about to write this I will be knocking on wood... Baby I really need you I really want you to come home I don't want to seem selfish or over dramatic but I don't want to go through what my mom did. She till his day 20 years later suffers from ptsd and survivors guilt. I come out to the kitchen every morning and see Art's flag ( my moms laid husband kia in 91 Saudi Arabia first gulf war there will be a pic posted of him too} I don't want that knock on my door and I don't want a flag folded in a case. I see this girl dealing with her husbands death with a new born beautiful baby girl. just want to kick scream and cry for her but I am not going to because shes a strong women who is keeping herself lively for herself and her daughter. I look up to her she is suck an inspiration This is for you Rachel Porto your an amazing beautiful women with the greatest baby girl ever I look at her pictures and she looks just like her daddy! I am sorry you had to go through this I don't know the grief your going through I wish you hadn't but this makes you stronger wiser and the best Marine wife/mommy ever keep your head up and keep solderin on I am so proud of you girl so damn proud of you...Back to my hunny I am so proud of you and o blessed to have you in my life I am here waiting for you for as long as you need me to like Ialways say forever proud forever faithful your wife Alyssa! xoxoo

I WANT... DEPLOYMENT DREAM

One week down already I can't believe it. Its going by pretty fast for e I haven't cried since the day he left. Its not that I don't have feelings I just know this is temporary not permanent. I have already got emails from him.My eyes grew big and my smile grew wider as I read what my memory wrote to me! He told me he couldn't wait to get back and get married he can't wait to be together start our family and just to see my autumns .It truly does help a lot to keep your self busy and my nights aren't bad there good. I miss you yes do I ever but the brokenness inside me has started healing! I know your okay but I know you miss me I know we love each other and we are strong I am stressed but willing to handle what ever gets thrown on this table. I am starting to pack the house up I can't wait to be closer to you and them when yo get home we will actually be living together in the same house! Wohooo!!! I am on a new diet trying to get fit I am p.ting myself everyday its a goal of mine to make me feel better about myself.I started a few projects that are for you, so you can have them when you come home. I am already thinking of home coming the posters the things we are going to do the things I want to do with you! But the one that stuck out the most to me was laying in bed looking at you sleeping or not. That thought keeps me going Oh to smell you or to feel you to kiss you or to hug you I can't wait! I am going to grandma Linda and to mom for more home made cooking lessons so I can cook yummy in your tummy food when you get home. I have another relay coming up on June 5th another 24hour one I can't wait! I miss you so much come home to me soon my love I love you bear. I was relaxing in the bath this morning and thinking of our almost house how it will be! I want a southern country style house I want flowers everywhere I want a garden of vegetable I want my house to smell look autumn or apple pie and cinnamon with a hint of pumpkin. I want candles everywhere and I mean everywhere I want french doors I want a wrap around porch and a balcony.I want white flowie lace white curtains and a big bath tub I want fire places! And the best thing when it rains I just want to lay in bed with you all day. I want to make you break fast and watch you read your paper. I want to hear you laugh in the next room I want to know when I go to bed you are the man I will be laying my head next to. And like you told me I want to be in those rocking chairs with you old and gray! Even though I don't want to turn old and gray I will because you want to!